Only a temporary measure I think.

http://thelifeofamcflyfan.wordpress.com/

And though I'll think of you, I guess, until the day I die,
I think I miss you less and less as every day goes by,

Wake up, Johanna! Another bright red day!
We learn, Johanna, to say... goodbye!

- Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street OST - Johanna (by Jamie Campbell Bower, Johnny Depp & Laura Michelle Kelly)

Letter to Myself

Dear me, why can't you be bothered about school anymore? You said you wanted a degree. You said you wanted your mother to live comfortably. Now you don't feel like studying anymore. Why? You can't even see where you're heading now, great isn't it?

He doesn't talk to you anymore and you knew all along that he only talked to you when he needed help. It's time to learn to say goodbye. You're a smart girl, you should know the way to go.

NO more excuses. The time has come. ^^

----

So I'm actually stuck here with no notes to do my report, having wasted time trying to find notes instead of doing accounting, now I can't THINK enough to do accounting since it's so POOTPOOT late, and I feel so POOTPOOT. Tell me now, HOW HAS MY LIFE BEEN SO POOTPOOT. Tell me too, how else could that part of me have died?

Okay, so while keeping my cool, I did 3/5 of my accounting. I guess maybe that was just a piece of cake. I'll continue later today and I hope the POOTPOOT website is UP AND RUNNING or I'm so gonna....................

I seem to have taken a liking to this verse from Sweeney Todd;

There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
And it's filled with people who are filled with shit
And the vermin of the world inhabit it.
But not for long...

They all deserve to die.

----

Haha. I've got to say, talking to Suqin calms me nerves. I am missing McFly. The only news I've heard is of them wanting to leave their record label and I don't even know if that's true. But I guess that'll be so much better for them.

Found these quotes while checking on pregnant hammies;

"Anyone can give up. It's the EASIEST thing in the world to do. But, to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart...That's true strength."

Something to live by? I guess.

In the mood for quotes so here goes.

“Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong- sometimes it's letting go.”

“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

“Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you” - Nathaniel Hawthorne

“FEAR is an acronym in the English language for "False Evidence Appearing Real"” - Neale Donald Walsch

“Dum spiro, spero (Latin), "While I breath, I hope"”

“Smile when it hurts most.”

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

Source: http://thinkexist.com/topics/

My favourite Fruits Basket Song translation:

Sorairo by Ritsuko Okazaki

Long long is the road oncoming road

Something is hurting and I feel I can't walk on

Standing on tiptoe looking for something everyday but, someday surely

The everchanging sky I look at will be a source of strength

Still there is joy, still there is sadness, and I don't know when to expect either

Still I must carry on, I know

Alone I cry till the dawn comes

With a bit of determination, I continue to walk on

Though my heart is thumping and the snow dances about the road, spring will bring the flower once more

Returning to a painful day here, but I'm ok

Searching to meet a truly kind person

Sadly, Sadly my heart will break during the night

But still I'll believe in what i'm looking for

With my fragile hopes

My wishes will come true, my wishes come true, even though tears may fall, its ok

Though rain is falling, violently falling

All of it is seeping into the ground

Though going on is painful, that same sadness is wonderful

passing by today, passing by here

To see your smile again

Still there is joy, still there is sadness, still I will hold on to those hands

Source: http://www.animelyrics.com/anime/fruitsbasket/sorairo.htm

I've found my little Wish Bear CareBear. Yup.

That's all I guess.

Sayounara.

Love,

Me

So, I've finally watched Sweeney Todd after waiting for so long since it's release in the US. And it has satisfied my need for gore, blood and violence [like FINALLY too]. I want the soundtrack! Like I've wanted Corpse Bride's and haven't gotten it!

So it IS true that I'm going for my SIP by myself I guess. Got into gaming?

Now the big question really is, how do I survive the remaining weeks of school. HELP!

My South African penpal is a really nice person! How nice to have conversations without knowing how the person looks like. Interesting isn't it? Kills the perception I have when I see someone's face.

School has somehow killed a part of me.

THERE'S A COW ON MY LAPTOP!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMS.

That was nothing. Don't read too much into it.

THE COW IS STILL ON MY LAPTOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT WON'T MOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*hides

Dear me,

Why do you always blog with the most important words hidden in the background?

Why do you have to hide?

Why do you keep denying that you still love him?

What are you actually waiting for?

You know that he doesn't love you the way you do.

You're not even his type.

So why are you still waiting?

Why do you feel that he's the one?

No matter how much you think of him, how much you dream of him, you don't even dare look into his eyes.

Who are you kidding? Why do you turn away?

Why do you want to see him? Why do you want to see him smile?

Why don't you want to talk to him?

Why do you do all the things you do?

Why have things turned out this way?

You didn't even try fixing anything. You just let it be.

That's typical of you isn't it? Letting things run as they are, never once trying, always taking the easy way out. 

Title: Westlife - If I Let You Go lyrics

Day after day
Time pass away
And I just can´t get you off my mind
Nobody knows ... I hide it inside
I keep on searching but I can´t find
The courage to show ...
To letting you know ...
I´ve never felt so much love before
And once again I´m thinking about
Taking the easy way out ...

Night after night
I hear myself sayin´
Why can´t this feeling just fade away?
There´s no one like you ...
You speak to my heart...
It´s such a shame we´re worlds apart ...
I´m too shy to ask ...
I´m too proud to lose
But sooner or later I gotta choose
And once again I´m thinking about Taking the easy way out ...

CHORUS

Once again I´m thinking about....
Taking the easy way out....

LOL. SO EMO.

ZZZ.

Just random thoughts. Maybe....just maybe, I'm THINKING TOO MUCH. Cause you don't love me the way I love you.

LOL.

Loves, me.

See this song.

Lover All Alone - Clay Aiken

Written by Clay Aiken & David Foster

Maybe i've convinced myself i've really been in love
and i've been wrong all along
for all i know the feeling and the picture that i've tried
so hard to find isn't mine

Could be its all just a waiting game
wanna share my everything

And on my own
its hard to tell my heart it will be alright
this love it holds will one day find a home
as hard as love can be
its harder still it seems
to be a lover all alone without love

Picking up the pieces makes me wonder if
i only build it all to watch it fall
the faster it can go away it means the less of me
is gone to stay and i'm ok

But lonesome tomorrow comes anyway
i'm alone for another day, another day

And on my own
its hard to tell my heart it will be alright
that this love it holds will one day find a home
as hard as love can be
its harder still it seems
to be a lover all alone without love

And on my own
its hard to tell my heart it will be alright
that this love it holds will one day find a home
as hard as love can be
its harder still it seems
to be a lover all alone without love
a lover all alone... without love

Maybe i've convinced myself i've really been in love
but i've been wrong all along

My To-Do List

1. Let my mummy live comfortably in her old old years
2. Watch my little BIG sister get married happily!
3. Trip to see McFly live at least once, NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT'LL HURT MY EARDRUMS! [Maybe hoping they'll come somewhere in Asia? Highly doubt so T_T]
4. Learn Japanese written and spoken
5. Trip to Japan to go to the Tokyo Tower!
6. Disneyland!
7. Holidays in NZ, Aussie, London, Paris
8. Get into NUS
9. Ride a rollercoaster

SO I added one more thing to my to-do list. HEHE.

The last time I blogged was last friday.

It's happened again; every time I wanna come down here and get down to some typing, I forget everything.

A lot of things have happened so far.

I watched ToKiKaKe (The Girl Who Leapt Through Time) and cried a wee bit. Like she can't be with him no matter what? -.-

After our[me, sq and ivan] banana leaf expedition during our skills kitchen routine, Su Qin added me on MSN and she's been driving me to fits of laughter most of the time. HEHE. All with batman and loadsa crap. LOL. I LOVE HER MAN. =X I'm going to stalk her today at Prints. Don't tell her alright? HEHEHE. I'm gonna poke her with a knife or shoot her with a gun 'cause she's camouflaged with the prints. >< Okay, I might sound cruel................But................I don't even have a gun.......................Yup. I'm just gonna stalk her.

Then, my first TOPTABLE culinary routine was done with an hour of shelling eggs with Shane and being the butter chef in the garde manger. -.-

I've got a pen pal from South Africa. Is that surreal or is that surreal?

I've got my internship at bird park with... NO ONE.

And Suqin's calling me BIRDBIRD. -.-

I've bought three Care Bears so far; Bedtime Bear, Funshine Bear and Good Luck Bear. I want the pastel green Wish Bear!!!!! She helps make wishes come true...

McFly's in Aussie now. That's so near..................YET................so far.

I can't think of anything much now.

IstillloveyoubutIknowthatyoudontanditsokaycauseIknowIcanneverbetheperfectgirlforyou.

Loves. ME.

1. The third Inheritance book is FINALLY coming out.
2. It's 6:12 AM now.
3. Got school at 11:00 AM.
4. Am effing screwed.
5. Haven't slept since this morning.
6. Eehua just dc-ed.
7. Am even more effing screwed.
8. Got 56/60 for Jap test.
9. MICE interview alright.
10. Taken mc twice since last week.
11. ..............................7 am..........................BB

GARETH GATES LYRICS

"That's When You Know"

for everyone
the story goes
there's a special someone
to make them whole
someone to give their heart completely

and you may search
high and low
and when you find your angel
and when you know
then you finally get that feeling
it'll be as clear as the air you're breathing

that's when the world feels small beneath your feet
its when the stars above are only just out of reach
when you feel you're alive for the very first time
and there's nothing that you can rise above
that's when you know that you're in love

who can tell the time and place
when you see your soul reflected in their face
it'll be a spell you're under
and it'll hit you just like thunder

that's when the world feels small beneath your feet
it's when the stars above are only just out of reach
when you feel you're alive for the very first time
and when you hold them in your arms and cant let go
that's when you know

for all of my life
I have been searching
for something I couldn't find
but now that I know that you are the one
I understand
I read the signs

cos now the world feels small beneath my feet
and all the stars above are only just out of reach
when you feel you're alive for the very first time
and there's nothing that you can rise above
that's when you know that your in love

[ www.azlyrics.com ]

LOLS. SHONG. TOTALLEST!

I'm waiting for a miracle.

I don't know why when I talk to you... I feel, happy. Even when it's about nothing at all.

I wished I didn't notice all the little things.

I wished my happiness would last for long.

I wished things would turn out fine.

But they didn't.

So well, it's a new year and all but everything's much the same. [Whoever told you that new year meant new things was a liar, honestly] I'm just sad that I won't be seeing much of McFly till new new single comes out or till I have the time to go surfing the internet like now instead of blogging and not wanting to memorise my 277 words.

2007 honestly, was the worst year of my life to date. GIVE IT BACK TO ME PLEASE. All the pain, all the lies, those nights spent crying, feeling confused, broken friendships, who would've thought that I would survive after all?

Sometimes I just look back and think, "Did I mean anything at all?"

Those nights, I found the people who really love me, who never fail to ask me, whether I was okay. The people who cared. And I lost all those I thought had cared. I've never been on a rollercoaster but I guess 2007 was more than enough. I can't believe I cried so much and yet only my mummy was there, and when I talked only a couple of my friends listened.

Those that said they cared and yet left me to my own devices. Those that said they'd believe in me, those that pointed their finger straight at me when something went wrong. I always ask myself, why would you ever do that? I always told myself you never meant to do that and I didn't realise that it was tearing my heart apart until I found that I was alone. I always thought it was my fault, that I said too much, that I was burdening you with my problems but instead, I found that you didn't care at all. Why I told you so many things, I can't tell. You just shrugged them off as a child's ramblings.

I remember Becky saying that if I ever needed someone, I could call her, but I never did. There I went, thinking I could take everything on my own. And Qing Hui, who listened to me whining about my sucky life and Manu who asked me once in a while whether I was okay............................All these, I'm grateful for.

And you, you've made my life miserable yet happy......

Maybe I just don't know how your mind works. Lol. Sorry for causing you trouble.

I decided to come up with a list of to-do-before-I-say-ByeBye-to-the-world thingy and here goes,

My To-Do List

1. Let my mummy live comfortably in her old old years
2. Trip to see McFly live at least once, NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT'LL HURT MY EARDRUMS! [Maybe hoping they'll come somewhere in Asia? Highly doubt so T_T]
3. Learn Japanese written and spoken
4. Trip to Japan to go to the Tokyo Tower!
5. Disneyland!
6. Holidays in NZ, Aussie, London, Paris
7. Get into NUS
8. Ride a rollercoaster

Can't think of much now, will add when thought of. =X

Hmm, I'm thinking of changing my URL 'cause of a hundred reasons. LOL. Well, anyways, Jennifer is my PEN name so there, explains the Jennifer UP there in the header.

LOL. I do wonder why I care about what people like and all. They don't even care about me!

Why should I offer my help when you think you're so much better than me?

DOUSHITE? WAKARANAI!

LOL, just rambling. HAHA.

Imademo anata ga daisukiyo...

Off to memorise some stuff. ByeBye!